Family ----- An Individual's Identity

What constitutes a family? Often in the past few months time and again this question has haunted me. Those who know me from very close quarters know the genesis of this thought or rather the question. Sometimes life hits you with such a violent force that by the time you get up and realize what hit you, something very valuable from you has been taken for eternity!! But still you don't stop living and as the cliche goes 'Life goes on'....lets not digress..

So coming back to the question I started with.... What really constitutes a family? Are there any subtler connotations attached to it, beyond the literal definition which in my opinion is the physical count of members who belong to the same family tree!! Is it really something that goes beyond words and feelings or is it just a societal arrangement to ensure that there exists a certain system which prevents the society from going into chaos!!

Cynical thoughts you may say...but I am myself surprised at my cynicism, because I hadn't fallen prey to it until very recently. Let's not go so far and let me just analyse myself with the clarity that retrospection bestows upon the needy.

Throughout my college life and the year after that (while I was working), I stayed put at Delhi except for the ocassional trip back home. All this while my entire gamut of thoughts were centred around just one thing. I, me and mine. Give it any reason and there are plenty that I can think of ( I was the youngest in my family, so I didn't feel any responsibility or there was plenty to explore in the never ending lanes of Delhi or that I was immature....) but the fact of the matter remains that I never bothered to ask my parents as to how were they really doing. Never bothered to ask them what was going through their minds and never tried to share their worries. Whatever little I did in this direction won't even suffice for the phrase 'skimming the surface'. Loneliness is a sad state to be in, I wish I had realized this earlier.... It's said that life gives you a second chance, sadly in my case there was none!!

So what was my contribution as a family member? Was it not supposed to be 'all for one and one for all', but where was my bit? Someone very close to me said that you should show your love and affection while you still can for you never know about the strange ways of life. How I wish I could! I would really do anything to go back in time so that I could just sit by my father and just talk and listen to him....

My elder brother once told me that "Blood ties are always thicker", and somehow these words have clinged to me eversince. I often thought that when the moment comes we shall be there for each other. What I failed to realize was the fact that such moments never come with an announcement, it is these small everyday incidents that show that you indeed care and that you are Family!!! Maybe with passage of time we start taking things for granted or maybe we just drift apart. But whatever the case, I think realtionships go awry because there are too many unsaid feelings and emotions.

I can't say for others but for me Family is indeed a realtionship that needs to carefully nurtured, else it too shall one day wither away..or it might just exist for namesake!! It is oft said that growing up is a confusing period because the mind is exposed to several new thoughts, ideas, people etc etc. But if you sit back and introspect you would realize much of the confusion stems from the fact that there exists a conflict between your family values and the ones you see on display in the streets of this world. Such is the impact of Family, though we seldom realize it, even if we do we do not accept it because we like complicated answers rather than simplistic ones.

So all I have to say is this....

'Besides flesh and blood I consist of a certain inherent value system that can be traced back to my origins. It wouldn't take a genius to guess where they are! After all - It's all in the Family"